In this trailblazing work from the internet's most empathetic math teacher, Ben Orlin unravels the secrets behind the world's most confounding language. Math, it is said, is the "universal language." But if a language brings people together, why does math make so many of us feel so alone? In Math for English Majors, bestselling author Ben Orlin (Math with Bad Drawings) offers fresh insights for the mathematically perplexed and mathematical masters alike. As Orlin reveals, the "universal language" is precisely that: a language. It has nouns (numbers), verbs (calculations), and grammar (algebra). It has funny idioms ("exponential"), quirky etymologies ("squaring"), and peculiar ambiguities ("PEMDAS"). It even has its own form of literature, with equations ranging from the simple wisdom of A2 + B2 = C2 to the startling profundity of eπi + 1 = 0. Along the way, he shares relatable stories of his own mathematical misunderstandings and epiphanies, as well as the trials and triumphs of his students. And, as always, he sheds further light and levity on the subject with his inept--yet strangely effective--drawings.