A quirky, nostalgic send-up to the Oregon Trail computer game, featuring snarky and hard-earned life lessons from the trail. Pack your wagons, find your ride-or-(literally) die friends, and roll up to Matt's General Store with a sack of cash--it's time to hit the Oregon Trail, twenty-first-century style! ...And Then You Die of Dysentery is the perfect send-up to the sometimes frustrating, always entertaining, and universally beloved Oregon Trail computer game. Featuring a four-color design in the game's iconic 8-bit format, alongside pop culture references galore, the book offers 50 humorous, snarky lessons gleaned from the game's most iconic moments, including gems such as: --Suffering from exhaustion is a real thing. (It's not just PR code for why a celebrity went to rehab.) --If you hunt too frequently in one area, game will become scarce. (The first signs of gentrification!) --Invite your sweetie to cuddle with you while looking up at the stars. (The night sky was the original Netflix & Chill. Step 1: Loosen up Orion's belt...) With its laugh-out-loud commentary and its absurdist nostalgia, ...And Then You Die of Dysentery is the ultimate trip down memory lane ... all the way to the Willamette Valley.