The good news: Tom and his guild won the war for Dallas.The bad news: Space pirates are still on their way-and they aren't bringing a gift basket.After blasting vending machine monsters, fighting in a Mexican standoff, and surviving the least user-friendly apocalypse imaginable, Tom thought he'd finally get a break. Instead, he's knee-deep in problems that can't be solved with sword swings or witty sarcasm.There's a city to rebuild, guild members to train, and a never-ending list of disasters to manage. With problems like a ghost in the Guild hall, a murder mystery unfolding in the middle of town, and someone, somehow, trying to organize a committee meeting about snack distribution, Tom must rely on his friends to help organize the Guild so they aren't destroyed from within.Worse, the pirates haven't given up. Their ships are getting closer, their tech is terrifying, and Tom's pretty sure a vending machine just called him expendable.With time running out and doomsday on the calendar-again-Tom and his friends must race to prepare for Earth's next unwanted DLC. Because when galactic war comes knocking, you don't get a patch. You get patch notes. On fire.The war for Earth isn't over. It's just changing terms and conditions.