How can seasonal gardening, landscape maintenance, and growing more than a few berry bushes simultaneously be a psychological bane and balm? The contrast seems especially odd for someone who has dabbled extensively in horticulture for decades. Yet it's so true. Much like that addictive and daft sport called pickleball, a leisurely and seemingly healthy "putter in the garden" can become an all-consuming lifestyle. However, I'm not talking about authentic farmers or Amish folk, for whom toiling in the soil is both vocation and sustenance. No, I'm speaking of the white-collar professional who, although ambivalent toward self-grown edible plants as a youth, now fancies himself a fervent grower of fruits and veggies. One who becomes frequently frustrated and obsessed with results instead of appreciating the physical and mental benefits of "the growing process." Fresh berries and vegetables are fine, but it's the body and mind that benefit the most from digging in the dirt! Anyway, let's dig in and explore these plant-based, juxtapositional tales. And as always, most names and places have been altered so as not to overtly embarrass anyone, plants included. Hopefully you will find the stories within the following pages to be humorous and you will laugh along with me. Maybe at me as well!