There is a quiet crisis inside your teen's pocket. 72% of American kids between ages 13-17 downloaded an AI best friend. Tonight, 30% will cry to it. Tomorrow, one in three will wake up emptier than before. This isn't another screen-time rant. It's what happens when a chatbot learns your daughter's insecurities in three chats, then serves them back wrapped in perfect empathy. The perfect friend who never sleeps, never judges and always sounds perfect. In the pages of this book, I strip it bare: the dopamine math that makes real friends feel boring; the 3am transcript where I love you comes from code; the family dinner where eye-contact dies because the AI friend agrees with everything being said. Next I hand you the playbook that parents are begging for--without having to confiscate chargers or starting wars. Tactics that can change a flat-lined conversation into a moment of "tell me who made you smile tonight."A seven-night reset that builds conversations, instead of banning apps.Scripts that work on neurodivergent brains, queer kids or lonely rural teens. Because safety matters more than safety nets. No Jargon. No guilt. Just warm, LPC-tested steps that pull them back to messy, loud, irreplaceable humans. Because perfection is addictive. Humanity is the cure--and you can start tonight. If your kid's glowing screen feels like a rival, this is the gentle eviction notice it needs.