Most online safety advice is wrong.It makes adults feel protected-and teaches children to stay silent. Most online safety advice focuses on surveillance: monitoring apps, filters, and control tools meant to "catch problems early." This book argues that approach fails children. Drawing on research, platform design analysis, and real-world patterns of harm, What Actually Keeps Kids Safe Online shows why safety is relational-not technical-and why children are safest when adults understand power, trust, and design instead of spying. This book explores: - Why monitoring increases secrecy rather than protection- How grooming and manipulation actually work online- Why "stranger danger" leaves kids unprepared- How platform design amplifies risk invisibly- How to teach boundaries as skills-not rules- What to say when something goes wrong- How adult emotional regulation shapes child safety Written for parents, educators, caregivers, and mentors, this is not a panic manual or a checklist. It is a reframing-one that replaces fear-based control with durable, trust-based protection. Children don't stay safe because adults watch harder.They stay safe because adults show up better.