Ever started getting ready two hours early only to end up ten minutes late? Welcome to the definitive parody self-help guide for the chronically late. How To Be Late Even When You Start Early is a hilarious dive into the "science" of time blindness and the mystery of those missing twenty minutes. This dark comedy offers the sarcastic advice you need to master the art of the "last-minute scramble." Whether you're a disgruntled employee facing another "performance review" or just a procrastination pro, this satirical guide celebrates the struggle of modern adulting. Inside this anti-productivity manifesto: The Time Blindness Blueprint: How to lose an hour staring at a wall while fully dressed. Sarcastic Office Humor: Perfect for the person who is "circling back" to the parking lot. The Ultimate Gift for Late People: A relatable white elephant gift for the friend who is perpetually behind.