This is not a children's book.It's a bedtime book for parents who are running on caffeine, spite, and unconditional love.No Rest for the Wicked: Nursery Crimes Volume I is a darkly funny collection of twisted nursery rhymes and bedtime poems for parents who haven't slept in years-and know damn well lavender oil isn't fixing that.Written for exhausted, neurodivergent, burnt-out, deeply devoted parents, this book turns classic lullabies into survival poetry. It's for the ones raising feral little miracles, navigating meltdowns, sensory overload, intrusive thoughts, and the kind of love that coexists with total nervous system collapse.Inside you'll find: - Twisted nursery rhyme parodies- Dark humor bedtime poems- Profanity-laced honesty about parenting burnout- Neurodivergent parenting solidarity- Love, chaos, and zero toxic positivityThere are no solutions here.No sleep schedules.No gentle lies.Just brutal honesty, gallows humor, and the reminder that losing your mind does not mean losing your love.Perfect for: - Exhausted parents- Neurodivergent parents & caregivers- Parents of autistic and ADHD kids- Anyone who laughs so they don't scream Published by Maternal MenaceUnmasked. Unfiltered. Unapologetic.