A dim inventor (left hand cup), impregnates his seductress, wife of an underworld hit-man. The cuckolded drug thug bursts through the inventor's door with roses blooming rather than guns booming. Underworld enemies snipped his reproductive package: he's thankful for his wife's unexpected expectancy and gifts a mini fridge. The hitman once fathered a witch-ugly, skinny, spinster now yearning for motherhood. He orders the inventor "make her pregnant." The inventor's wife, shocked, had planned to staple her deceiving husband's gonads to the wall, next to the trout she caught and boar she shot: a matching brass plaque would state date, weight and length. On the way to the knife drawer, she sees an upside ... hit the hitman for payment for her husband's seed and deed. The drug dude hands over cash and a toaster oven. She leads her bull by the horn to the curious, welcoming maiden and a month later she's with child. The wife collects $3000 and thinks of barren women of diminishing reproductive years, rejected by males, wanting a child. Inspired, she considers, Will they buy fresh, not frozen? The inventor can't come to the wanting woman's door with a vial of tepid seepage from who knows where. To come at her door requires either hands on, solo, third person, 9-volt prosthetic, intrauterine insemination device or traditional. The wife pimps her husband, but soon the novelty wears off and his insemination stick wilts. Men must be auditioned, in the living room, for the dream job. The wife wants franchises and commands an appearance on Dragon's Den, with the panel's puns and innuendos, to seek a business partner? What do you need the money for, they ask, and she replies, erection of a new house. The irrepressible Genghis Khan holds the record as father to 100 little Mongols, but the inventor may implant more babies and definitely make women happy. In instigating a bun in the oven of the plainest client, one who has repelled males for two decades, the handsome impregnator falls in love. Surely Not reads as if John Grisham and Bill Bryson re-wrote Erica Jong: funny, fast, satirical, scandalous and a plot to vie for. Naughty but nice.