Every civilization begins the same way: someone hears thunder, assumes it's personal, and starts organizing committees. The History of Religion for the Non-Believer is the story of what happened next-how a species that barely survived the Ice Age went on to invent every imaginable version of meaning, from cave rituals to crypto cults.With surgical humor and relentless clarity, this book follows humanity's long, glorious, and occasionally idiotic attempt to explain itself. Religion began as prehistoric panic management-howling at lightning to feel less small-and evolved into the world's most successful bureaucracy. From the Sumerians balancing divine spreadsheets to the medieval popes running salvation like a pyramid scheme, faith has always been our favorite form of order.In thirty chapters, we meet the prophets, priests, conquerors, and philosophers who kept the system running-often by accident. We watch fire become sacred, gods become governments, and morality become a side hustle. Along the way, we tour ancient temples, Crusader battlefields, Enlightenment coffeehouses, and Silicon Valley boardrooms-each a shrine to the same impulse: fear of chaos, dressed in whatever language was fashionable.By the time we reach the digital age, the pattern is unmistakable. The gods never die; they just migrate to new platforms. Prayer becomes scrolling, ritual becomes routine, and omniscience becomes an algorithm. We still kneel-only now to screens instead of statues.Part anthropology, part philosophy, part roast of the entire species, The History of Religion for the Non-Believer shows how belief shaped everything we call civilization-and why we can't stop believing, even when we know better. It's not anti-religion; it's pro-honesty. Because after thirty thousand years of worship, war, progress, and memes, the one constant truth is this: humanity is still making it up as it goes.For anyone who suspects enlightenment might be overrated, this is history stripped of reverence but not wonder. Funny, ruthless, and weirdly humane, it's a chronicle of our greatest habit-the need to find meaning in a universe that couldn't care less.If you've ever looked at the sky, your phone, or your reflection and thought, Surely there must be more to it than this, congratulations: you're part of the story.