An irreversible message tears Frank from his shared life with Ivica Jan. The sudden death of his Croatian husband leaves behind not just a gap, but an existential void. How does one keep breathing when a shared future has abruptly become the past? "IVICA" is the unflinching account of this void. A literary diary of a torn psyche, it pulls the reader deep into a world of extreme contrasts: a staggering journey between paralysing despair and fleeting moments of happiness, between the abyss of suicidal thoughts and a tenacious hope for life. The search for oblivion leads Frank into the chemsex underworld and into superficial encounters, while he simultaneously seeks control and purification through ascetic abstinence and the disciplining of his own body - a constant state of being torn between escape in detached physical contact and an insatiable yearning for unconditional surrender. Yet neither escape to the Ligurian coast, the care of friends, nor therapeutic help can fill the hole in his soul. There seems to be no way out - until an encounter with Eric, a new, unexpected love, offers a faint glimmer on the horizon. It presents Frank with the ultimate question: Can he take the risk of giving life and love another chance? "IVICA" is the poignant first part of the tetralogy "When the Protective Fear Disappears". This unique literary project traces the profound transformation of a man who must reinvent himself after a terrible loss. The Tetralogy: ① IVICA - Your Legacy and the Life Thereafter② ERIC③ FRANK④ FRAGMENTS Each volume is a self-contained novel. Together, they unfold the powerful overarching narrative of a healing that only begins once all certainties have crumbled away. "IVICA" is dedicated to Ivica Jan Seger-Visnjic.A literary monument. A legacy. The start of a great journey.