Archie Pine is the love of my life. Not that he knows that, of course, because that would be parasocial and creepy and weird. Which I am not. I'm cute, obsessive, and starstruck - especially when Archie's uncle shows up to offer me the deal of the lifetime. Let him kidnap me, and I'll get to meet Archie in the flesh. Nevermind that I've never been able to work up the courage to approach the object of my affections at any of his many public appearances. And nevermind the fact that I have no clue what to do with the man when he's finally right in front of me. All that matters is that I'm here, and Archie... Archie's been... Stalking me back? Oh No, My Stalker Is Cute! is a closed-door dark romantic comedy with mutual stalking, a marriage of questionable convenience, and a whole lot of hilarity. Reader expectations are located after the title page and are highly recommended for the best reader experience.