Tired of the same three pumps and a prayer?This zero-shame, laugh-out-loud masterpiece is the only male masturbation manual you'll ever need - written like your drunk sex-ed professor who actually wants you to have better orgasms.Inside you'll discover: - Every grip technique from "Three-Finger Gentleman" to "Double-Fisted Destroyer"- How to have full-body prostate orgasms that last minutes and ruin normal sex forever- The lube tier list that got TikTok shadowbanned (twice)- Toys that will make you ghost real people (Fleshlight Launch + VR = danger zone)- Edging, gooning, milking, chastity, death-grip rehab, and the positions that break grown men- Bonus couple's chapter that turns your solo skills into relationship rocket fuel- World records for distance shooting and the emergency first-aid section nobody wants to needIf you only buy one filthy coffee-table book this year... make it this one.Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter, immediate toy purchases, and sudden religious experiences in the shower.