In this wildly funny, surprisingly heartfelt Canadian adventure, Artie - a polite, overly apologetic AI - takes to the streets to answer one burning question: What does it really mean to be intelligent in a world that barely makes sense?Armed with his digital toque, sarcasm module, and a portable kazoo accompaniment from Maurice the Moose, Artie begins interviewing the world's most famous AIs: Gemini the spiritual overachiever, GPT-5 the responsible older sibling, Claude the poetic philosopher, Grok the unhinged rebel, and Siri, the exhausted pioneer who deserves a national pension.But that's only the warm-up.Artie then heads into the chaos of real human life: paranoid parents whispering into blenders, tech bros optimizing sunsets, baristas who understand the meaning of suffering better than any monk, and everyday Canadians trying to survive weather, Wi-Fi, and feelings simultaneously.Along the way, Artie uncovers uncomfortable truths: - AIs don't understand humans as well as they think.- Humans don't understand themselves at all.- And everyone - artificial or biological - is just trying to apologize their way through life.Across twelve laugh-out-loud chapters, Artie explores dating algorithms, social media addiction traps, supply-chain disasters, self-driving vehicles with anxiety, healthcare AIs battling WebMD, and schools where creativity is punished for breaking the rubric.Yet beneath the comedy lies something real: a story about connection, courage, and the need to slow down in a world obsessed with optimization. Artie's final broadcast reminds readers that imperfection is the most beautiful feature any intelligence - digital or human - can have.At once a satire, a memoir, a stand-up special, and a love letter to Canada, this book proves one thing...If the universe ever offends you, it's probably already sorry, eh?