Rusty McAllister, a divorced yogurt-expiration tester in beige Ohio, wakes up to a world unraveling: his ceiling fan spins backward, his coffee mug flips him off, and Tuesday has vanished from existence. Unwittingly, he's stolen the entire concept of the day-a glowing blue orb now lodged in his chest like cosmic indigestion. Enter Agent Thursday, a calendar-clad enforcer from the Temporal Revenue Service, and Vincent Trashandetti, a fedora-wearing raccoon capo demanding his union dues. Rusty flees into a surreal underworld: laundromats that devour socks and birth destinies, the Black Calendar's black-market auction for pilfered time, and a forbidden romance with November 31st, a woman born on a day that never happened. In a heist blending Pulp Fiction absurdity with Rick and Morty fever dreams, Rusty splits Tuesday down the middle-one half for love, one for survival-leaving the universe with half-price dread, eternal annoyance, and suspiciously good tacos. A novella of cosmic theft, raccoon vendettas, and the chaos of reclaiming your bad days.