*This Lite edition contains 97% less profanity than the Director's Cut (no, I couldn't bear to sanitize it completely) and is meant for mature readers of all ages. ==Faint praise for Vitruvian Funk from the Subcutaneous Literary Roast== "Celebrates the art of being derivative without ever outright plagiarizing. Revisionist, neo-Victorian cyberpulp for the post-digital age." - Gail Porter-Sang "It's like Quentin Tarantino and Kurt Vonnegut sat down to write a sci-fi novel while sniffing way too much glue. I couldn't put it down." - Sangria Sklounst "Will Coker has a way with words that'll almost make you forget about things like plot and character development. Rudderless, yet captivating." - Jumpsuit Larry Volkova "It wants to be Solaris, but hits more like Mack Bolan: The Executioner." - Michelin Del Fuego "Monolithic chunks of exposition tower over a mélange of abandoned plot points and vast swathes of unattributed dialogue, but it still somehow works. I want more." - Steve Mandelbrot "You ever sync up 'The Wizard' by Black Sabbath to The Rise of Skywalker at the 38:32 mark and let it play until the movie cuts away from Pasaana? It's kinda like that, I guess. - Phil Constantine "It has a good beat and you can dance to it." - Dick Clark (probably) ==A summary of sorts== Somewhen in the future, the planet Terra reels from the dual gifts of technological uplift and random cataclysm. It is the time of the Discoflux. Ruby Quatermain, Helena Cinco, and their misfit friends (some of who know that they're in a book) work to nullify an alien artifact that holds the key to their planet's ultimate demise. Along the way, they encounter the machinations of Merlin Shakespeare, undead ninjas, self-aware automatons, kinky aliens, a giant robot attack, and a whole host of tropes both post-apocalyptic and post-scarcity. Metahijinks abound! Also included are an incredible amount of profanity and a killer soundtrack. Meant for mature readers of all ages.