A darkly whimsical collection of twenty-eight fully illustrated tales for the odd ones, the dreamers, and the wanderers of worlds unseen. Welcome to Volume 1 of the ever-expanding Dirges of Dooms and Delights - A Fantastical Feast of Fables and Frights. Satirical, and strange-this anthology blends poetry with parable, whimsy with woe, and shadow with stardust. The eight tales below are just the beginning... with over twenty more stories, this book is perfect for anyone who has ever felt a little too weird, too wild, or too full of wonder to fit in.Mr. Twidgley's Ice ParadiseThis story is a fever dream dipped in fudge and madness. When a sugar-obsessed ice cream man rolls into town, the children of Mire descend into sweet-toothed delirium. But beneath the sprinkles and syrup lies something far more sinister...human remains, and a lifelong vendetta against vegetables. This is a twisted tale, deliciously unhinged and dripping with dark delight.The Incredible Story of Mr. P PugzleyIn a sterile corporate world of deadlines, styluses, and cone-based punishment, one scruffy pug dares to remember the freedom of old school doggy days of scratching, playing, and sniffing butts. But behind every cold Pugachino lies a simmering rebellion-and Mr. Pugzley must decide whether to live as a cog in the corporate machine... or reclaim his soul, one slobbery revolution at a time. A cubicle-to-carnage tale of identity, instinct, and corporate castration.The Nightmare After DinnerLost in the woods, Oogie's Boys stumble upon a cottage made of sweets, bones, and doom. But the witch inside has no idea who she's dealing with. This is no fairytale-it's a caramel-coated bloodbath, and tonight, the children do the cooking.Empress InfernaShe comes blazing through Cinderblight's Hollow with wildfire wings and a laugh like a struck match. But when nature puts her on trial, it becomes clear-fire isn't the only force with a god complex. What follows is a vicious cycle of treacherous tempests versus burning trees. A scorching tale of ruin, rain, and the dangerous illusion of saviors.King Leonardo in His Pink LeotardoHe rules with delusion, decrees with flair, and struts in a garment no eye can bear. When a kingdom is cursed by spandex and absurdity, rebellion blooms in royal kitchens and laundry rooms. But beware-the leotard lives on, and it is always looking for its next royal behind.An Unkindness of RavensWhen Raven-Kind discover that their collective noun is "an unkindness," the Great Council of Ravens assemble in outrage. Vengeance takes flight in this scholarly coup of beaks, brains, and deeply wounded bird pride.The Morbid Girl Who Dwells BelowShe has no crown, no fame, no throne-only a backpack stitched from scars and a strange map to the forest within. Guided by mushrooms, shadow-mirrors, and the echoes of a cruel past, the Morbid Girl descends into the wilds of her own soul. A lyrical tale of healing, haunting, and finding light through the very dirt that tried to bury her.What's New With Mrs. MooMrs. Moo is the cream of the crop-or so she claims. With bionic udders, LED eyes, and tail extensions for days, she moo-ves through the dairy like a diva on parade. But when her upgrades start to malfunction, the whole farm watches her go from fabulous to fried. A tale of glitz, glitches, and one cow's udderly tragic fall from graze.Step into a surreal world where madness holds meaning and mayhem is served with a side of melancholy and a poetic wink. Each story is a tale unto itself-tinged with the kind of strange beauty that only darkness can teach. This isn't your typical bedtime reading.It's bedtime for the weirdos.And You, dear reader, are most welcome here.