This is the story, in all its beauty and wreckage, of my lifelong pursuit of redemption through deep sexual loving. And of the women who helped me (some would say "enabled me"). Two of them in particular, Ellen and Sasha, whose beautiful letters are included here, bringing their own voices, talents, and hard-won insight into the story.Between 1993 and 1999, I was caught in a love triangle that unraveled my mental health, distorted my sense of reality, and forced me to confront addiction and dependency. Out of that chaos, I grew into the man I am today.This memoir isn't about self-improvement or spiritual instruction, although it does include the fascinating story of my primary mentor, Victor Baranco, whose ideas about sexual polarity and man/woman psychology were far ahead of their time. It is not a guide, a method, or a set of answers.It is about what happens when you pursue your daemon into the darker places, leaving, as I did, a trail of relational destruction behind you. Astonishingly, this strategy worked. I am now very happily married.You can read this book for its humor, entertainment, and psychological insight. But it is not only about me. I have come to see my life and its trials as fractals of a larger cultural problem, what many now call the "meaning crisis," our collective struggle to find purpose, fulfillment, and meaning. The path I chose, rightly or wrongly, ran directly through sexual obsession.The final chapters trace how meaning and sanity returned, the role of my writing, and deeper reflections on the arc of my life and what I call "epochs," distinct chapters that only make sense in retrospect. I try to communicate the things that, had I known them thirty years ago, might have saved me, and others, a great deal of grief.About the authorMarco is an author, Authentic Relating leader, intentional community activist, sexual educator and self-described "love revolutionary", This memoir is his third book, although it came first as it was 20 years in the writing. He has also written a love and sex manual for men entitled As Lovers Do, and the classic Circling Guide: An Authentic Relating Anthology. Read more on his website, www.marcbeneteau.com.