Distraught... Scared... Betrayed... and yet still so ashamed... All of these hostile thoughts stabbed at William's emotionally shattered mind. However, it wasn't the shame of being a no-good Sink Pisser that devastated him. At least, not entirely. No, what truly sapped William's soul away was his undeniably selfish betrayal of his loving wife... For years the two had worked so hard to build their wonderful little life together. From the harsh backbreaking physical labor of William's lumberjack job, to his wife's proud yet tedious religious career as a plumber, their hard work had paid off in the form of a perfect house for two... And soon to be three. Such tightly bound love, no matter the ups and downs that came with it, was thought to be unbreakable. But William, despite his foolish act of blasphemy, was smart enough to know he had, quite literally, pissed it all away.............Have you ever chased your dog around while happily drunk? Well, I did that. Except it was my wife, and I wasn't happy. You see, I've come to the logical conclusion that relieving oneself in the sink saves on a lot of water. So that's exactly what I did.What I didn't expect was for my wife to walk in on me one day and start freaking out. My initial reaction was to explain why toilets were one of mankind's worst mistakes, but she refused to hear me out. So, left with no other option and still drunk from all that delicious Toilet Shine I brewed up in our Toilet, I yelled back. To the surprise of no one, she couldn't handle an argument and ran away with tears in her unsupportive eyes. Obviously, I chased after my loud and annoying wife while threatening to (figuratively) beat some sense into her. Clearly, she misunderstood my intentions, because my wife ran out of our house and went to her dad for help. Believing her lies, he decided to call his friends, get the cops, and now I'm in hiding. So please read this true story that shows my side of events before it's too late...