The UK's Institute for the Daring and Deranged shares the tips and tricks to succeed, with this planning guide for 40 birthday party activity ideas that you should absolutely not try! Have you ever wondered how parents planned a child's birthday party filled with activities that were amazing, executed seamlessly, or just plain perfect? We guarantee they did NOT use this book!This book is not for those looking to ensure parents and kids walk away from a party full of mirth and memories, or even walk away at all. This is a book of humor, full of 40 diabolical birthday party activities that should only be attempted in one's imagination. It's Science!On the cusp of scientific discovery, this book uses a fool-proof rating system to quantify just how much disappointment you'll instill in the children, just how much hate you'll generate among the parents, just how much you'll be forced to pay in bills and lawsuits if you're foolish enough to actually attempt these. Read at your own risk, just enjoy a laugh and not a lawsuit.Includes timeless classics beloved by children and parents alike such as The Invisible Piñata, The Floor is Ketchup, and The Amateur Hair Stylist Academy!Each activity comes fully illustrated!Not edible!About the Ratings: This book uses a scientific rating system at the United Kingdom's Institute for the Daring and Deranged to quantify how daring and/or deranged each activity is from the perspective of several critical constituents.Child Disappointment Factor (CDF): Each activity's CDF score is based on how disappointing, dismaying, or just plain not fun the activity turns out to be for the average child. Of course there's always that one weird kid at every birthday party who actually enjoys things like beets, or slugs. You know the one I'm talking about.Parental Hate Generation (PHG): Each activity's PHG score is based on how disgusted or distraught parents will be that this activity has taken place. In some cases it will highlight the hate of the hosts for having to clean up an ungodly mess in their homes, in some cases the hate of the parents for the mess sent home with their children.Host Horror (HH): Each activity's HH score is based on the hosts' abject regret in agreeing to allow their home to be the venue for that activity. This score factors in the damage and repair costs incurred by the activity (ex: slime removal), not the costs of the activity itself (ex: Komodo dragon rental).This book strives to answer the age-old philosophical question 'What if you were planning a child's birthday party and didn't have to care about the consequences?'