I lived with 15 years of control, emotional abuse and rape. I stayed for many years to make sure my daughter didn't have to stay overnight with my ex as she would have been alone in fear without my protection and he would have done anything to win and take her away from me as punishment. As part of my recovery I have put my diaries (that I kept since 2008 when my daughter was less than a year old) together as a book. My diaries were just a few snap shots of a few times in the 15 years when I felt the strength to write down or record what was happening but my commentary will describe the whole story.When I decided to leave and take on being taken to court through a three year divorce without a home or access to our finances, I knew it was going to be unbearable with his lies and threats and using other men he called friends to help him abuse me. I knew I was in for the toughest part of my life and it was a hard decision to take that leap. THANK GOD I DID. I'm out the other side and reading books of others experiences really helped me in the toughest times which are now thankfully over. I hope this helps someone else through their journey to freedom. No one is alone, there are so many of us.The cover of my book is a very significant image to me. Right in the middle of living with the worst times of my life I had a vivid and real dream (all of my dreams were being trapped in a building or city unable to get out). One night in my dream led me to the middle of the building I was trapped inside and there was a red and white vase on a pedestal in the middle of the room. It was intact but smashed all over, just like the one in my cover. Just about holding itself together. I asked someone (I have never idea who) 'what is that?' and they told me 'that's your soul'. I will never forget this vivid dream and I felt at the time it was not fixable and that I would spend my life broken but intact. I am so happy to tell you that three years after my divorce finally ended in court my soul is no longer broken, monotone or small. Life is finally worth living again.