Greg Almaty has a t-shirt that says #1 DAD, that he bought himself. He's the father figure to your...fathering figure. He's the kind of guy that practices what he preaches, even though what he preaches is pretty stupid. Fellas, if you've been seeking a blueprint for having The Talk with your kids. If you want to railroad your wife's baby shower. If you ever dreamed of knowing someone who (probably) spontaneously combusted from eating bad soup, you've come to the right place! Greg will take you from conception to birth to the fifth grade, giving you the skills to deal with anything life throws at you. He even gives you a plan to rid yourself of those pesky sleep paralysis demons. Don't ask him about teenagers though. He doesn't have any yet, so quit asking! Your children will likely thank you, once they start speaking to you again. Your wife will want to wrap her arms around you--after the trial separation. Join Greg in the adventure of a lifetime as he gives bad advice for life's most precious moments! So, if you like absurdist humor that sounds like Tim and Eric are your daddies, and Philomena Cunk is your mommy, in some sort of thrupple situation, then this book is for you!