There are male dating gurus who train men in the dark art of the female putdown. They tell guys that playing hard to get is the way to make a woman fall head over heels; that women prefer men who behave like jerks, with a touch of humor thrown into the mix. There is some truth to their claims: when we obtain what is hard to get, we appreciate it more. I hear the maid say welcome gentlemen, I don't turn around to see what they look like I think god please let them be cute and single as I take a sip of water, the ladies at the table start adjusting their bikini tops some are touching up lip gloss I take out my pocket mirror to make sure I'm not only I look down to put my mirror back in my purse when I look up I see an older gentleman that looks like he could be my grandpa, he looks like he's in his 60's I think who brought their grandpa on the trip? We're trying to turn up, grandpa goes around the table introducing himself to each of us one by one I think ok well hopefully his grandson comes down soon as he takes a seat then another gentleman enters the room and he's huge not just in height but literally huge his stomach looks like it could crush me and he's not young either he looks like my dad's age I look at Nadia she smiles I think am I missing something? He sits next to grandpa I think ok if grandpa and dad are here the son has got to be next also who is talking to grandpa and dad? Dad says I'm sure you ladies are hungry let's eat as he takes a piece of steak to put on his plate we all dig in then another gentleman walks in he looks like he's in his early 40's and he has crutches I think what the hell are we at the rich people retirement home? Is this who the guards are guarding? why are Nadia's friends so old? Are these tricks? I can't believe this bitch gassed us up like that had me thinking we were meeting young eligible bachelors the disappointment is all over my faces as I cut into my fish just when I am about to give up hope I hear the maid say welcome sir and this is the last seat so this has to be the son just has to be I mean they can't all be old can they? He walks in he's young looks like he's in his early 30's not the cutest but has great skin he takes a seat I think oh lord I am not about to be fighting with these girls over the youngest guy I roll my eyes as I take a sip of water. After dinner, the music is blasting we're taking shots, and twerking I figure I might as well make the best of tonight. While she's pouring us shots I look around and I think I should have known this trip to Ibiza was too good to be true, lash line my ass this bitch is trying to pimp us to these old oil tycoons and covering it up as a cosmetics trip I can't believe this bitch I look around I see girls being groped and rubbed on I feel disgusted, I mean I don't knock anyone's hustle but when I was hoeing we got our money up front there was an order trick didn't play for free there was always a fee and a trip didn't count as payment, I guess the game has changed I'm so glad I'm retired these girls are doing it all wrong a chef and a trip overseas is not worth giving up the cookie these men are oil tycoons they should be paying top dollar for pretty girls like us, let me take you back all the way back to the beginning before I even knew what a pimp was or what hoeing was or what the game was or what a trick was...