Where might a vacationing Prince of Darkness make the best mischief? Washington, D.C., of course, where all sorts of strange occurrences suddenly take place: A middle-aged, conservative Deep South senator finds his potbellied body utterly transformed; soon he joins a long-toothed vampire in a sexy run for the White House - where the hapless incumbent struggles both to keep up, and to recover his vanished essence. The comedy, however, does not escape the eye of an immortal Roman legionary living quietly in the Pacific Northwest. He and his equally long-lived friends - a dog, a tiger, and a mighty Chinese dragon, all with their own tales to tell - recognize that underlying the wild farce is the ultimate danger to all humanity. But Marcus Flavius, with terrible memories from two thousand years ago, of a butchered wife and son, and the horrific murder of an extraordinary man, shies away from his destiny.Then lovely, irresistible Beatrice, bay-a-treech-ay as she insists he pronounce her name, "like Dante's guide," comes into his life. To his horror, the Evil One has his eyes on her as well; and to save her he must face his past - and by doing so, save the future.