How can you call yourself a mother if you can't even love your child?This was the question Skadi asked themselves as their newborn child snuggled across the hospital room, safe in the plexiglass bassinet. All their life, they had been forced to be a mother in one way or another to someone else. Now, when it was finally their time to choose to be one to a child that they desperately wanted, they found their heart horrifically empty."How I Learned to Love You," is the story of a parent with severe postpartum depression finding their way back to their child. It is also the story of a polyamorous, nonbinary transmasc, queer person with CPTSD finding their way back to themselves.