Feel like you're surviving parenthood on threats, bribes, and sheer chaos? Welcome to Threats, Bribes, and Chaos: The Tired-Ass Parent's No Bullshit Guide to Modern Parenting, the brutally honest guide for parents who are done pretending.Forget the perfect-parent fantasy. This flagrant short form book is for the exhausted, overwhelmed, and under-caffeinated parents who know that sometimes survival means bribing your kid to eat something green or delivering a well-timed threat to get five minutes of peace.What You'll Learn (Probably While Hiding in the Bathroom): How to negotiate with tiny terrorists (also known as toddlers)Why bribes and threats aren't so bad when used strategicallyHow to balance the chaos with actual tips on early childhood development (yes, that's in here too)The fine art of parenting with sarcasm and a questionable amount of caffeine or winePerfect for parents who: Are tired of "expert advice" that makes them feel like failuresNeed a parenting guide as real and messy as their lifeIt won't make your kids perfect or prevent you from stepping on that Lego at 3 a.m., but at least you'll be laughing while they drive you crazy.